


what are you waiting for, cause someone can love you more

by myeverything



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Angst, Bottom Newt, Cheating, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Newt loves Thomas, Sad AU, Smut, alby and newt fuck, this is shit im writing this on 4 hrs of sleep, this isnt a oneshot, thomas loves newt, top Thomas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-22 22:05:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8302924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myeverything/pseuds/myeverything
Summary: Newt and Thomas have an unnecessary argument leading to Newt cheating on him by 'accident'.





	1. one.

 

  
Newt cursed to himself, he felt so sick with what he had just done. An absolute idiot, he is.

_"Fuck you, Tommy. Honestly what even is the point of this? Arguing when we're trying to get things better. It's not going to fucking work out if you keep acting like this." Newt yelled at him from the other side of the room._

_The Brunette rolled his eyes. "I already said I'm sorry, Newt. What else do you expect me to do? It's not my fault Teresa wont leave me alone no matter how much I ignore her."_

_"You could've just told her to fuck off instead of hanging out with her like you guys are dating, again. Did you do this just to make me upset? Fucking asshole. You never do anything when it comes to her, if my ex came to me while I'm in a relationship I'd tell them to fuck off." Newt snapped._

_"She didn't even do anything to me when we were hanging out, Newt, you know I would never cheat on you."_

_Newt laughed sarcastically. "Then what was the point of you going over to her house then? Don't even try to tell me you guys didn't hook up. It's so fucking obvious you-"_

_Thomas cut him off while grabbing his coat. "I didn't hook up with her Newt are you kidding? I love you and I would never do that to you. I'm leaving until you calm down. Text me tomorrow."_  
  
Newt groaned as his head pounded from his hangover. The Blonde was slowly remembering what had happened yesterday to cause him to do what he did and felt like he was going to be sick. He rushed to the bathroom and emptied his stomach. He had fucked up for nothing.

_"Ah fuck, you feel so good around me." Alby kept moaning pushing into Newt._

Newt didn't feel anything but disgusted with himself. How low of him to do something like that when he didn't truly know if Thomas even cheated in the first place. The Blonde didn't even want to face him. He can't.

_"Just shut up, will you? This is only-ah a one time thing." Newt nearly shed a tear with how horrible yet good he felt right now, he didn't know why he was doing this but he couldn't think straight with how much alcohol was in his system._

It was all his fault. How is he supposed to even talk to Thomas? They'll never work things out now and it's all because of him.

Newt felt like crying. His heart was hurting so badly and before he knew it he was sobbing.

His phone went off and he didn't even want to look at it, he already knew it was from Thomas because he wasn't answering any of his texts from earlier. It was one notification after the other and they kept coming just because he wasn't answering.

**_'Sorry it seemed like it was hooking up with her but I really would never do that to you and you know I wouldn't'_ **

_**'Newt'** _

**_'???'_ **

**_'Where are you?'_ **

**_'I promise I didn't do anything.'_ **

_**'Can you just answer?'** _

**_'At least let me know you're okay.'_ **

Then Newt's phone started ringing. He just watched it ring until it stopped. Then he received another text.

_**'Fine, I'm coming over.'** _

"Shit shit shit." Newt cursed to himself. He quickly made his bed and picked up clothes that were laying on the ground. The Blonde felt like he could cry again with how stressed he was, what was he even going to say to him? 'Hey yeah I slept with someone because I thought you did.'

He ran to the bathroom and tried washing his face off at least but the doorbell went off and his stomach dropped. Newt slowly walked to the front door and waited till he heard another knock to open it, seeing Thomas's lovely face.

"Did you get my texts or are you just deciding to ignore me now?" He was already raising his voice at him. "I apologized, Newt, what else can I do?"

Newt felt his throat swell up and he felt like he could burst any second. "I can't talk right now."

Thomas scoffed. "Why? Who or what's more important then talking to your boyfriend?"

"I-just..It's not that I'm just in a mood and I don't feel well." He technically didn't lie there, he was upset and felt nauseous.

"Just let me in then, I'll cheer you up." The Brunette raised his eyebrows as if he was trying to look intimidating.

Newt had been avoiding eye contact with him this whole time but when he looked him in the eyes it actually made him feel worse. How could he even think of hurting him? Telling him would make him hate him as well but, not telling him would make him hate him even more.

"Please, Tommy, I just want to be left alone." Newt was close to crying again and he didn't want to show Thomas.

The Brunette shook his head. "Let me in to at least try to cheer you up, if I can't then I'll leave. Okay?"

Newt thought for a minute before answering, he thought maybe if he got him in a good mood he'd not take it as badly but then again who doesn't get upset when you get told you've been cheated on. "Okay."

Newt let Thomas inside and shut the door behind him while they both walked towards the couch. He turned on the telly and put a random movie in.

"Want a drink?" Newt asked him and he nodded.

"Maybe a bit of red wine?"

"Sure."

-

Newt was overwhelmed with thoughts. Him and Thomas were laying together on the sofa, not exactly cuddling but awfully close to it. Thomas was a little tipsy from the wine and Newt couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was how he fucked up and his major headache. He regrets everything so much.

Thomas had been glancing at him every now and then and Newt felt himself stiffen each time.

"Newt." Thomas said while staring at him once again. When Newt hadn't answered or looked at him he did it again, propping his elbow and resting his head on it so that he could stare at Newt more. "Newt."

Then Newt looked up at him. They were so close Newt couldn't breathe. Thomas was looking at him with his adorable puppy dog eyes and Newt just wanted to crawl into a ball and die because now he just regrets what he did even more. Thomas deserves better than him, he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. God, Newt felt like the worst person ever.

Newt sighed looking back up at him again to see he was still staring. All he wanted right now was to kiss him and forget everything but he obviously couldn't do that because of what he had done. "Tommy."

"Did y'know I love you right?" The Brunette hiccuped. "`M really sorry for hanging out with Teresa, but we didn't do anything so I hope you're not still mad at me."

Yeah, Newt was fucked. "I know, Thomas."

They sat there for a moment. Just staring at each other. It wasn't awkward but Newt just felt so out of place and didn't know what to do next.

Then Thomas edged his face a bit closer. "Can I kiss you?" He asked faintly.

Newt wanted to say yes. He wanted to more than anything. But he couldn't. He couldn't do that to Tommy. He doesn't deserve him. "Thomas..I.."

Newt could see Thomas's face fade into a saddened emotion. "Please."

The Blonde couldn't help it. He nodded his head signing he meant yes and Thomas leaned down kissing him. Thomas's lips were heaven and Newt couldn't stay away from them. A quiet moan escaped his lips when the Brunette ran his fingers through his hair, encouraging him to keep going.

Thomas took that as a sign to straddle him and kissed him more. The boy felt his pants becoming tighter as his boyfriend was kissing his neck and leaving marks, blowing cold air onto it afterwards. Newt couldn't help but moan and he hated how horny he was right now.

"Your moans are so sexy." The Brunette whispered in his ear, then went back to kissing down his neck.

Newt was feeling nothing but pleasure right now but there was still the regret at the back of his mind. His subconscious kept saying to him, " _Remember what you did_ " " _Cheater_ " " _Disgusting_ ".

_"Ugh Newt, I could do this forever with you." Alby was thrusting into him roughly and the Blonde was a moaning mess with tears escaping his eyes._

"Tommy" Newt whispered hoping Thomas would hear him and stop, but he didn't. He was still kissing his neck and slowly dry humping him. "Tommy, please stop."

Thomas stopped what he was doing, looking down at him with a confused expression. "What?"

"We can't do this." Newt sighed moving a bit so Thomas would get off of him. He stood up walking away from the Brunette and towards the kitchen, opening the fridge and getting a water to drink. He then heard footsteps and suddenly Thomas was right next to him.

"What's wrong?" He looked worried.

"I-I need to tell you something important that happened." Newt felt his eyes becoming wet with tears. "I did something which I regret so badly and I can't hide it from you because I know you'll just hate me more than if I did tell you so here we go." Two tears fell from his eyes and he tried to hide his face, feeling so shameful. "I'm so disgusted with myself that I had to go so low. Since I thought you cheated on me I decided to do it as well and I was drunk as fuck but that doesn't matter because I still did it. What the fuck. I'm such an asshole I wouldn't be surprised if you left right now and never came back. You deserve better than me Tommy, you deserve someone who can make you happy. Someone who wont annoy you with arguments. Someone who will never cheat on you. I truly am sorry for what I did and I still can't believe it. I'm so sorry Tommy."

The Blonde could not breathe. He was crying so hard and when he looked at Thomas he had never seen someone so broken. What the fuck had he done? He really did mess up so badly.

Thomas let out a quiet sob after a few minutes passed. "We shouldn't see each other."

Newt felt his heart actually break in half at that one sentence. He knew this would happen but he didn't expect anything to hurt this bad. "I know."  
Newt was crying more than ever and Thomas was just quiet. "You have to know I'm so very sorry Thomas, I should have never-"

Thomas cut him off, walking towards his door slowly. "I'm going to go."

Newt's eyebrows furrowed. "Oh."

"Goodbye, Newt."

 

 

 


	2. two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt and Thomas talk for the first time in weeks.

Two weeks. It had been _two weeks_  since he last spoke to Thomas. Two weeks of utter shit and Newt has never felt this miserable before. He had been getting drunk nearly every night and crying himself to sleep, just to wake up the next morning and repeat the same actions.

He has been drinking for the past hour and texting Thomas felt a bit tempting at the moment yet risky. Newt knew he would regret it but typed the message as neat as he could. He paused for a moment as his finger hovered over the 'send' button.

_**'i miss you.'** _

It was a simple text but Newt felt himself getting nervous as can be after sending it. He wondered if Thomas and him would ever talk again. Newt knows he fucked up but it's not like he will forgive him ever. The sad part is that he doesn't even expect Thomas to forgive him because who would? He'll never even forgive himself so he's not gonna blame Thomas.

_**'im sk sorry tommy'** _

The Blonde sent another text. Still, not expecting Thomas to text back but he was just so upset and drunk and missed the Brunette so much. He missed kissing him, holding him, being next to him, cuddling with him, just everything. Newt would do anything for that back.

He felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks and grabbed the bottle of wine, downing it until it was 3/4 of the way gone. He missed his Tommy so fucking much. Why did he have to fuck up? Why? Why was he such an asshole.

"Fuck." He groaned as more tears escaped his eyes. He needs Thomas. All he wants right now is to be with him, hold him, kiss him, and love him.

Newt sobbed loudly pulling on his own hair. He can't handle with this. Getting drunk wasn't enough to take away the pain he was dealing with.

He hated thinking this, but he actually wanted nothing but to die right now. Maybe he was being a bit overdramatic but all he felt was sadness and pain.

-

Newt woke up the next morning with a terrible hangover. He blinked a few times before turning on his phone to see two iMessages. One from Alby and more importantly one from Thomas. He read the one from Alby first.

**_'Hey Newt, I was wondering if you'd like to hang out tonight if you're not busy.. text me back ;)'_ **

Newt suddenly felt the urge to throw up and ran to the toilet emptying his stomach of disgusting waste. He felt tears prickle as his eyes while cleaning his mouth off and rinsing it out with water. He felt gross.

Newt decided to ignore Alby's message and open Thomas's.

**_'Hey. Can we talk?'_ **

The Blonde typed a response as fast as he could and quickly sent it.

**_'Of course. When?'_ **

Newt chewed on the inside of his mouth waiting for the typing bubble to come up but five minutes passed and it never came. He then got up to grab an advil to clear his headache and downed it with water.

He sighed walking to his pantry opening it and finding something appetizing to eat, finding nothing but a left over sandwich. He bit into it eating it quickly as can be.

Newt wondered what Thomas was even doing right now. He most likely would be at work, at the coffee shop. He panned the room for his phone, turning it on once he found it to see that Thomas had texted him back.

 ** _'I'm on break right now so you should stop by if you can. I only have an hour left so please be quick if you are coming_**.'

The Blonde felt nervous. He looked like literal shit right now. His hair was sticking up in all different directions. He had dark bags under his eyes. Even he felt like shit. But if now was the only time he could talk to Thomas, he needs to try the best he can to make things better.

"Bloody hell." Newt cursed to himself, running to his bathroom and turning the shower on as quick as possible. He jumped in, although the water was freezing as can shucking be.

The water ran through Newt's blonde hair and he sighed of relief, feeling much better already. He added shampoo to his hair scrubbing it and then rinsing, doing the same with his conditioner. After washing his body he jumped out of the shower and threw on his clothes. The Blonde brushed his hair and teeth, then threw on his socks and shoes.

Newt sent Thomas a text to let him know he was on his way and grabbed his car keys walking out the door, nearly forgetting his phone.

He tried to not go over the speed limit while driving to see Thomas but he felt more nervous than ever and he couldn't help going a tad bit _too_ fast. He mentally groaned when he kept getting, what felt like, every red light possible but sighed of relief when he finally made it to Tommy's coffee shop.

He looked in the mirror in his car, trying to fix his hair as it had been messed up, although it didn't look that bad he felt as if he has to look perfect for Thomas.

As he walked through the glass doors he saw Thomas, looking adorable as ever, by himself on his phone sitting by the window. He mentally 'aw'd and slowly walked over towards him.

Newt kept rehearsing what he was going to say to him in his head but nothing sounded right. He can't just go "I'm sorry" because saying sorry will definitely not fix this situation. What Newt did was fucked up and he knows it himself, but he doesn't know how to make Thomas even reconsider forgiving him.

"Tommy." Newt sighed almost awkwardly sitting at the table he was at.

Thomas looked up at him and he could see how tired the boy's eyes looked. Thomas looked as if he hadn't slept in ages and Newt's heart felt like it had shattered in a million pieces. Thomas looked so broken. How could Newt do this to him.

"Hey." Thomas's quietly said, his voice sounded hoarse and even he sounded tired. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened, and I want you to explain."

"Tommy-Thomas I know what I did was _extremely_ fucked up and ridiculous of me to do." Newt felt his eyes already start to get glossy. "I should've never hurt you like that and I don't know what went through my mind to do such a thing. I promise to you that it meant nothing to me and I will only ever want you. Tommy I _love_ you, and I know you'll probably never trust me or even forgive me again but I'm so terribly sorry and if I could go back and change what I did I would do it in a heartbeat. I'm so shucking sorry Thomas." Newt was crying now but he didn't care, he felt awful for putting Thomas through this mess.

Thomas was silent. He had a blank expression on his face, nothing. He shifted in his seat once and then decided on speaking up. "Newt," He started."I love you more than anything. But how am I supposed to forgive this? I truly want to but there's a small part of me telling me that I shouldn't.. Once a cheater always a cheater. You knew people in the past that I've dated have cheated on me as well, Newt. Why the fuck would you do it when you saw how messed up I was from them. I honestly thought you would be different. But no, you're just like every fucking one else. What you did can never be forgiven. Even if we were to continue this it wouldn't work and we both know it." Thomas's face showed no emotion other than anger and Newt felt himself curl into itself.

"Tommy.. I understand what I did was wrong and I beat myself up everyday because of it. I didn't mean to hurt you. I hate myself for hurting you. You deserve to be treated like a god and all I wanted was to give that to you. You have to know that I'm so sorry for what I've done and I regret it so much. You don't have to forgive me, I didn't expect you to, but just please know that I am actually sorry and wish I could've been better for you." Newt was now practically sobbing and felt so embarrassed to be crying in front of Thomas but didn't care at the same time. Thomas nodded his head.

"I want to give you another chance." Thomas looked at his fingers, playing with them and picking at his nails. "I just need a little break for now and I think you do too. Maybe in a few weeks we can go back to how we used to be. I wont forgive you until you show me that I can though."

Newt closed his eyes, feeling much better, and sighed of relief. "Okay, yeah. I'd like that."

"Me too." Thomas scratched the back of his neck. "I think it will take a while for me to end up trusting you again, so you'll have to get used to that."

"I know, Tommy." Newt chewed on the inside of his mouth. "I understand."

There was a silence for a few minutes but it wasn't really awkward, it was more peaceful. Newt had noticed it had started to rain and sighed watching the water droplets flow down the window.

"My breaks almost over." Thomas sighed.

"Oh." Newt looked at the time on his phone. 12:30 pm. "I'll go."

"I'll text you later..?" Thomas stated in more of what sounded like a question.

"Yeah." The Blonde gave him a small smile.

"Yeah."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll probably be updating this every other day so check for updates. hope you guys like this :) make sure to leave comments and kudos!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this is shit I've never written anything like this but I hope you guys like it. I do not fantasize cheating or anything I was just listening to Troye Sivan's song 'Gasoline' and it inspired me to write something based on it lmao. :) leave kudos and comments!


End file.
